Archives for 2018

My Journey to Peace

I had just turned 18 and was in my first summer out of high school and my second semester of college. I was a criminal justice major. I had waited to be that age for such a long time and was so excited. I had been dating this guy casually for about a month and we got in an argument one afternoon and he broke up with me. I remember being devastated and calling my cousin to cheer me up so she invited me to a party her boyfriend was having because she wanted to set me up with one of his friends. I can remember the first time I saw him like it was yesterday. He was tall dark and handsome you know I melted instantly. The fact that he was 16 years older than me just didn't matter. He was too perfect. We quickly became inseparable.

Then within a month I was out of my parents house for the first time living with him. The first 6 months were amazing I had my own house for the first time. it was like having my own little family. Then he started to change. Accusing me of cheating, isolating me, verbally abusing me. Before long I had a curfew and would get my belongings destroyed. It escalated fast. Before long he was abusing my 2 cats, threatening my life, the man I fell in love with was gone.

January 16th 2013 was the first time he physically assaulted me. I remember being in shock and knowing it was wrong but then again I did all the classic mistakes I blamed it on stress I blamed myself and I believed him when he said he never do it again. We quickly got into the cycle of abuse the honeymoon phase in the build-up and then before long he was hitting me at least twice a week. The first time he strangled me was my breaking point.

I should include that around this time my family had heard from word-of-mouth and being in a small town about his past. A past full of prior abuse and prison time he served for abusing his own 4 month old son I didn't even know existed. I never told my family about the physical abuse but they put the pieces together. My sister's knew that I wanted out so about a month of planning my escape began. I prayed every night for God's help. I was terrified and knew that I couldn't do it on my own or without the help of law enforcement.

Then on May 9th 2013 my prayers were answered and someone heard my screams and called the cops and he was arrested. I was left with many emotional and physical scars. I'm missing part of my thigh muscle, I have a fractured jaw and PTSD. For a long time I numbed my pain and didn't seek help didn't talk about my emotions, but here I am about 4 years later and I'm a college graduate. I have amazing family and friends and I'm engaged to a man who adores me. Through my journey I've found a strength I never knew before. I appreciate the good things in life. I take things slow. I've rediscovered and rebuilt a new me that I'm so proud of. I hope my story can shine some light on someone maybe still in a dark place. I hope at least one person can take away strength and hope from my journey, from victim to Survivor.

Submitted by: Olivia Jessie

Unwed Mother

For the past 11 years, I and luckily my mom and dad have helped me fight for my now 14-year old son.

The father is physically, mentally, verbally and has all the symptoms of sociopathy (as does his mother) and NPD.

My son's “father” has hit him, punched him, screamed at him, hit me (and admitted it to therapist) but that never mattered; calls us names and has caused so much depression and anxiety that this Christmas Eve my son said he has been talking to his friend about suicide because he feels it is only way to get away from his dad. I contacted my son's therapist and my attorney but opposing counsel went to our single mother hating judge on his last day of retirement and since this this judge made multiple comments during last trial that he “hated” my son, had a closed door meeting without my attorney even being notified and signed holiday order giving the “father” Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day (plus he had Thanksgiving as well) and the 11 days of Christmas Break…My job gives us Admin Days off from Christmas Eve until Jan 2nd. The “father” is a an architect and owns a beer distributorship, yet doesn't pay child support but demands Will's time.

My child is an incredible gymnast, attends a prep school with a B average, started a Tumbling Club (this Freshman Year), made the varsity cheer team and is a member of the acro team at the local college. His “father” does not support any of this and tries to make my son feel like dirt for these choices. This is his hope for college and cannot wait to never see his “father” again.

Meanwhile, I am not allowed to speak with my son privately. I have had the worst Christmas and move to 2018…my son has given up and cannot understand why he has been taught not to lie but his “father” and that “family” tells everyone my son is a liar and mentally disturbed. I did not even get to speak with my son today…when the police were called and went to “father's parents home”, they told the police they were allowed to monitor and record my 14 year old's conversations, which is a complete lie per TCA 36-6-106. Not only that but I have had sole custody, paying all bills, carrying all insurance and I escaped.
Father now wants sole custody and pay no child support 14 years later. He punches, bullies and screams at my son then tells everyone is a liar, especially my son.
My job, since 2014, gives us the week after Christmas off and ever since 2014, my son and I have had that week to be together, have fun, travel…but this year, I was given 2.5 days with my son and it was done unethically and illegally and as a means to hurt me and my son.
Sorry, this is so long but this is just tip of the iceberg after 11 years and NO marriage. Our court and legal system is corrupt and care NOTHING about our kids.

I want to help. I want to raise my voice and let my son tell his story too. The laws need to be changed and all attorneys, judges and courts should be held accountable for their actions.

Submitted by: Lisa